“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin
The Healing Happening
Faith is critical during this process, because healing happens outside of linear time. We weave in and out of childhood as though time didn't exist, welcoming back old abandoned pieces. Most of the tools we learn for measuring and quantifying in life do not apply here.
How do you measure the healing of the heart and soul?
How do you compare one moment to another, in a constellation where 'change is the one constant?'
The flowing forward calls upon an inner knowing; on following an inner compass that is uniquely your own.
Sometimes, when profound healing happens, a physical manifestation of that wound vanishes, as if by a miracle; sometimes the symptoms that accompanied the original wound take a while to catch up. We are laying the groundwork for breakthroughs. Sometimes it just takes a certain thought crossing the mind at a certain time, and voila, there it is; this thing that was always there waiting for you; wholeness.
Touching into wholeness is awakening.
A Rough Road
To say that healing is not always smooth is to put it mildly. We try to take the most direct route, and to keep it as serene as we can. Sometimes, as we put ourselves together, life seems to fall apart. This is where that inner compass; that faith becomes crucial.
In a healed world, healing would be simple. We'd pick it up from everyone around us, and mirror the wholeness and vitality that our parents embodied. We'd already be awakened.
We live in a wounded world; a world in the process of healing. It's hard to look around and disagree. Healing involves moving against the gravity of the culture. Since time immemorial, there have been the many, and there have been the few; those moving toward awakening.
As soon as we take a step toward healing.... the matrix takes a step toward us. Whatever was under the surface, surfaces. The environment becomes the messenger of the unconscious, delivering not what you want, but what you need to progress. You can take this inquiry as deeply as you want, like Carl Jung, finding the meaning beneath phenomena as the expressions of consciousness, from the names of the people you meet (which often engages certain archetypes), to the numbers you see on the clock when a thought crosses your mind, to the shape of a cloud. Using your FLOW journal in a freeform way can facilitate this. For instance, I find that when I meet people in 'pairs' (two Amandas, for instance), it means something. It's like the black cat in those Matrix movies.
Ask a question, and walk to the shelf and pick up a book. It might not seem like it at the moment, but there is the answer, and it might not be in the form you were expecting, because the answer is often the riddle that leads to the next question. And so on. This is a beautiful unraveling of the core wounds. How deep it goes, no one knows.
The Dance Between Light and Dark
Unconsciousness is a powerful force. Gather more of your light in the present moment, and rest assured that the dark will rise to meet you, often at the point of your weakest link. As we close off gaps to disempowering relationships, or addictions, it might show up in a loved one or partner. This can be empowering because when we know what it is, we can face it without taking it personally. There is ‘increased resistance’ between 'steps' of consciousness. So progress at the soul level often manifests as 'shit hitting the fan.'
The main purpose of healing work is enhanced consciousness and increasing the light. Shedding that light on the world allows us to see the world as it is. Seeing through the veil. Stepping out of the cave of Plato’s allegory. This means experiencing the present moment as directly as possible, for the fullest expression of your aliveness.
As you've experienced, this is no easy feat, because open your eyes, and they rush in; the programs. Have you ever heard the story about the first ships of the explorers showing up on the shores of the Americas? Reports said that the Indians were unable to see the ships, because they couldn’t conceive of such things existing and coming from another world. Their vision literally blocked it out. That is how beliefs work. We each walk through a world of our own creation, though honestly, very little of it was created by us.
The reason we delve into the past on this journey is because we are carrying a backlog of emotional and energetic baggage. As this clears, we free ourselves up to dance with the present moment. The goal is the undiluted present; the methodology involves clearing out the past.
The ones that could see the ships on the horizon, were the shamans. The ones who 'see the unseen.' Chances are, when you engaged in this work, you already began doing it. Perhaps you have always done it. You glance at a person, and you know their thought; you can feel their pain. Even learning about the masculine (right) and feminine (left) sides of the body gives another window into the world. Perhaps you now see those people on the corner in a new way... you see what they are doing with their weight, where they are throwing it, and you’re able to decipher the stories. Which one is taking energy, and which is losing it? Once we bring our own body awareness to the surface, via somatic work, it often overflows to others.
The Three Centers
During the standing and walking work, I often talk about finding the balance between the three centers; head, heart, and pelvic (instinctual / sexual). Someone who lives in one at the expense of the others is easy to control and has few resources. Most new age writings cater to the heart center, for instance, encouraging us to feel without thinking. Studies and data appeal to logic; to objective reason. Pulling at the sexual center is rampant in many areas, including advertising. When the body centers are balanced, something needs to feel aligned emotionally, and pass the crucible of reason, and feel right instinctually. I think it is from this place that beautiful relationships are born and nurtured.
Unwinding the Programs
I recommend this documentary for when you have some idle hours. It is about the invention of psychology, and how it made its way to America, and formed many of the programs that were ‘installed’ in people. It is called Century of the Self, and you can watch it free on youtube HERE.
Freeing ourselves from programs frees up energy for the real work. A secondary benefit of this somatic work is, in fact, increased vitality; more life force. More life force means more energy to direct to discernment, creativity, life changes, etc. All of those things we sort of put off when we’re fatigued. Fatigue is the enemy of consciousness. (Here is a good page on herbal remedies for adrenal fatigue). We usually fall into programs or addictive behaviors during those moments when our resistance wears down. It is going to happen; the key is to lessen the frequency.
Remember, healing happens outside of time, in the realms of the unconscious. It ripples forward and backward in time, to parents and grandparents; to children and grandchildren. A ‘knock on the head’ is often a call to awakening. Absolutely nothing happens by accident, once you've transcended the law of accident.
In Truth,
Steven Budden
PS. The roots of certain herbs; Burdock, Dandelion Root, Yellow Dock, can facilitate grounding and bring energy down in the body, which can be beneficial during this process. Grounding also eases skin conditions. Simmer roots for 10 minutes on low, sip some and let the rest sit for hours or overnight for a potent brew. Dried versions are usually available in the bulk herbal section of an herb store or a coop or community market. Some produce markets have fresh burdock.