Blaming others for what we feel or where we are is destructive. Not so much to the person we blame, as to ourselves. If you want to remain exactly where you are, from the perspective of experience, blame your parents, blame the economy, blame the government. Instead of focusing on the solution, blaming gives the mind something to do. If you surround yourself with people that buy into your story, that solidifies where you are. So, to remain where you are, do that. Really entrench yourself.

To change your life course, surround yourself with people that compassionately question your story. Break free.

There will always be people that seem to have been through much more than us, that have still created beautiful, inspiring lives for themselves. And there will always be people that seem to have been through less than us, who can't seem to get over the past.

We are each such a unique constellation of stories... you can never predict how an event will influence someone.

Give up the lingering hope that the other person will change, and begin the work from that place. Don't skip to forgiveness; first move through the old emotions... the ocean of sadness or rage. Eventually, there will be a gravity toward forgiveness. You are suddenly free to create your life. Paradoxically, that frees the others (the ones you had been blaming) up to change, if they choose to.

In Truth,

Steven Budden